


Prank War

by LightsOut



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Feels, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-02
Updated: 2015-04-02
Packaged: 2018-03-20 22:43:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3667938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LightsOut/pseuds/LightsOut
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all started on April Fool’s Day. It’s now mid-July and the prank war is still ongoing. In James’ defence… the Weasleys’ started it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Prank War

**Author's Note:**

> In this universe there was no Voldemort. 
> 
> James and Sirius own ‘Marauder’s Mischief’ whereas Fred and George own ‘Weasleys’ Wizarding Wheezes’. 
> 
> How did this become a confession of feelings??? Awww boys…

Remus stopped in the doorway, “No! Absolutely not.” Sirius was grinning maniacally and James wasn’t any better. Remus pointed at them both, “I told you that I didn’t want any part of this.”

Sirius practically skipped towards Remus and pulled him further into the room, “It’s perfect, mate. We got it right.”

Remus groaned, “We’re too old for this.”

Sirius gasped and James shook his head. James moved around the counter, “Don’t get your wand in a knot. We’re just having a bit of fun.”

Remus glared at them both, “That doesn’t mean that you can include me in your latest mad scheme.”

James jumped up onto a chair and pointed towards the shop across the street, “They started it!”

Remus despaired. James was a grown man with a teenage son and Sirius… well Sirius still had all of the mischief of a teenager. Remus wondered if it was too late to call Lily and make her talk to James. Sirius threw his arm around Remus and practically plastered himself against him. His breath was warm against the curve of Remus’ ear as he insisted, “It’s going to be fun.”

Remus fought the urge to shiver and stepped away from his best friend, “What is it?”

As Sirius and James started explaining their plan excitedly Remus had one thought… _oh shit._

Meanwhile:

George paced one way while Fred moved in the opposite direction. Ron watched them both move and wondered when his brothers had gone completely insane. It was nothing more than luck when Ron had seen Remus walk into the shop across the alleyway and he regretted saying anything.

On the first of April Fred and George had decided to prank Sirius Black and James Potter thanks to an obscure Muggle tradition. After having blue skin for a week the older pranksters had retaliated and the pranks had escalated. As the only two Wizarding prank stores in the country they had always been in healthy competition with each other. The personal vendettas against each other in the spirit of “good fun” was starting to become worrying.

Ron had brought it up with Harry who’d shrugged and answered that he was going with his mother to visit Neville in the Amazon Rainforest so he didn’t care. Ron still marvelled that Luna had convinced Neville to go so far. Before his thoughts could turn to Hermione and his daughter waiting for him at home his brothers turned to face each other. Their synchronicity was scary sometimes.

Fred grinned widely, “It’s perfect.”

George shook his head, “They’ll expect it.”

Fred’s smile grew, “Not if…”

George interrupted, “That’s perfect.”

Ron climbed off his seat and edged around the room until he could use the Floo. He didn’t want any part of his brother’s scheme against the infamous Marauders. When he was gone Fred rolled his eyes, “Wimp. If they’re bringing in Remus then they must be planning something good.”

George nodded, “I just hope that it doesn’t have anything to do with tentacles.”

After the last Marauders prank George hadn’t been able to eat seafood at all. Fred checked the calendar, “Half way to the next full moon. They’ll make their move within the next week.”

George pulled out a heavily warded box from underneath the counter, “We’ll be ready.”

 

A Week Later:

Remus glared at Sirius in the darkness and growled, “I hate you.”

He felt Sirius shrug, “We might’ve underestimated how temperamental…”

Remus hissed, “You think?! How long are we going to be stuck in here?”

Sirius shrugged again, “I’m sure that James is looking for us. Besides, the prank worked.”

“Worked? Sirius, we’re locked in the safe.”

There was the sound of shuffling, “At least it’s reasonably spacious.”

It wasn’t. Remus was practically on Sirius’ lap and he couldn’t stand up without being bent in half. All of this would be a lot easier to deal with if Sirius’ close presence wasn’t having a certain effect on Remus. Sirius moved again and Remus hit him lightly, “Stop that. Just, stay still Sirius, for Merlin’s sake.” Remus huffed and pulled his wand out from his robes, “ _Lumos_.”

Being able to see Sirius in the low light didn’t help but Remus felt better knowing that Sirius could see every scowl and frown on his face. Sirius grinned at him, completely unrepentant. Remus wanted to complain but he’d already told off Sirius for five minutes and he was tired.

Sirius settled against the safe wall and asked, “How’s Teddy?”

Remus gave in to the inevitable and let go of his annoyance, “He’s good. Tonks is taking good care of him.”

“How is she?”

“Good.”

“So what actually…”

Remus glared, “No Sirius.”

Sirius frowned, “You can tell me anything, mate. You two seemed happy and then…”

Remus fixed his gaze on a dark corner, “It just wasn’t right for either of us Sirius.”

Sirius hummed thoughtfully, “So why’d you marry her?”

Remus groaned, “Sirius, just leave it please.”

Remus didn’t have a lot of hope that Sirius would drop the subject. He’d stayed with Nymphadora long enough to have Teddy and then they’d admitted that neither of them were completely happy. It was far better for Teddy to have two single parents who were happy even if they weren’t in a relationship. Sirius had never accepted Remus’ weak explanations for the reason they’d separated. Usually he could distract him with James or Harry but Sirius had finally found a place where they wouldn’t be interrupted.

Sirius put one hand on Remus’ shoulder, “You can tell me anything Remus.”

Remus couldn’t look at him, “I love Teddy and Tonks. I’m just not in love with Tonks. She called me out on it after Teddy’s first birthday. I didn’t even realise that I was in love with someone else until she pointed it out. She wasn’t even mad. She said that she’d known for years and she still married me anyway.”

Sirius had stopped touching him, “You’re in love with someone?”

Remus flinched, “Yeah. So, I told you and now you can drop it.”

Sirius was scowling, “You’ve been in love for someone for years and you’ve never told us.”

“I am allowed to have secrets Sirius.”

“We could’ve helped! You should be with the woman you love.”

Remus had to force himself to say the words. He felt sick at the thought of losing his best friend but he was tired of torturing himself over feelings he wasn’t ashamed to have. If Sirius couldn’t handle it then Remus was probably better off knowing.

“It’s not a woman.”

Sirius was obviously surprised, “You’re in love with a bloke? I owe James a galleon.”

Remus sighed, “I’m obviously not gay. More, bisexual, I guess? It’s only ever been one guy.”

Remus watched as Sirius attempted to work it out. Remus was content to let Sirius jump to wrong conclusions because it gave him the chance to relax about Sirius’ apparent acceptance. He knew that Sirius wasn’t picky about who warmed his bed if they wanted to but he’d still been worried about his friend’s reaction.

Sirius pulled a face, “It’s not James is it?”

Remus scoffed, “Do you think that I would be able to keep something like that from Lily?”

Sirius nodded, “That’s a fair point. Does Lily know?”

Remus pulled a face, “Probably. I never confirmed it when she asked.”

“Blimey, how long have you been in love with this tosser?”

Remus snorted, “Years, apparently.”

Sirius gave in, “Who is it? Please, do not say that it is Severus.”

Remus shuddered, “Merlin, no!”

Sirius sighed, “Thank Merlin. So, are you going to tell me or do I have to drag it out of you?”

Remus looked at his old friend. He still wore his first dog collar a lot of the time. Remus wanted to smile at the memory. Sirius had complained for a week but he’d eventually given in when Remus had told him that he wouldn’t take him anywhere as Padfoot unless he made an effort to keep out of trouble. Sirius loved being Padfoot too much to give that up or risk being caught as an unregistered Animagus.

Remus told himself to be brave and he moved as far away as he could from Sirius before he answered, “It’s you Sirius.”

Sirius’ jaw dropped. Apparently the possibility had not registered when Sirius had contemplated who Remus had known long enough to fall in love and not say anything. Remus fidgeted nervously and wondered if James was ever going to find them.

After what felt like an eternity Sirius spoke, “You’re in love with me?”

Remus nodded, “Yeah.”

“Since when?”

Remus flinched, “Fifth year.”

Sirius cursed, “Bloody hell!”

Remus tried vainly to disappear into the walls of the safe, “Yeah. Sorry.”

“Sorry!” The shout echoed loudly in the small space. Sirius tried to lower his voice, “You’ve been in love with me for decades and you never said anything. You got married! You have a son!”

Remus wished that he could disapparate far away. Tahiti was supposedly nice that time of year. Perhaps he could disappear into the Australian outback. He could go and test Arctic conditions on a werewolf’s immune system.

While Remus was making wild escape plans Sirius had stopped ranting. Remus hesitantly opened his eyes and jumped when he found Sirius leaning inches away from his face. Sirius lifted his hand and touched the spot gently where Remus had hit his head.

Sirius shook his head, “Years, Remus.” Sirius kissed him lightly and said with a wicked grin, “We could’ve been doing this for years.”

Remus’ mouth parted softly in shock and he said, “Merlin. Sirius…”

Sirius cut off what Remus was trying to say by kissing him more firmly. Remus wrapped his arms around the man he loved and welcomed every touch. Sirius gripped Remus’ robes tightly, pulling him as close as they could get while they were still clothed. Remus moaned, “Oh, _fuck_ , Sirius…”

Sirius licked the lobe of Remus’ ear and growled, “You should’ve said something.”

Remus’ fingers dug in sharply to Sirius’ back, “Didn’t think that you’d want this.”

Sirius pulled away, “Are you fucking crazy? If this place wasn’t so damn small I’d fuck you right now!”

Remus’ eyes were wide and his chest was heaving, “Fuck, Sirius. You can’t say things like that when you can’t fucking follow through, you bastard.”

Sirius leaned in close again and his voice rumbled in Remus’ ear, “Say that again.”

Remus rolled his eyes, “Say what?”

Sirius grinned sharply, “Fuck.”

Remus smirked. Apparently he’d misunderstood Sirius’ reactions when he swore. Remus sat up from where he’d slid down the wall and he said slowly, “ _Fuck_.”

Sirius shuddered and kept smiling, “We could’ve been doing this for years.”

It finally sank in. Remus realised what Sirius was trying to say, “It’s mutual?”

Sirius nodded, “I always thought that you were straight. You did marry a woman.”

Remus rolled his eyes, “Are you always going to bring that up?”

“For at least the next hundred years. You married my cousin.”

“You’re ruining the mood.”

Sirius laughed, “You knew what you were getting yourself in to. Why did you tell me?”

Remus sighed, “I was tired of hiding it I guess. I was always worried about losing you and James.” Sirius opened his mouth to protest but Remus shook his head and continued, “James and I are friends but he would be on your side.”

Sirius leaned forward and kissed Remus, “You won’t lose us. Crazy werewolf.”

Remus smiled, “What do we do now?”

Sirius shifted until they were sitting side-by-side. It was cramped but Remus liked the feeling of Sirius at his side. Sirius said thoughtfully, “We could go on a date.”

It didn’t really appeal to either of them. Remus was never particularly confident in public and Sirius didn’t want Remus to be uncomfortable. Sirius shifted again until they were holding hands and Remus suppressed the ridiculous urge to giggle. Remus offered an alternative, “I could cook.”

Sirius’ eyes widened, “You want to cook for me?”

Remus rolled his eyes, “It’s not completely ridiculous and it’s not like potions. I can actually cook a meal without blowing up the kitchen.”

Sirius sniggered, “Remus Lupin, domestic werewolf.”

Remus scowled, “If you don’t want…”

Sirius stopped laughing and squeezed Remus’ hand reassuringly, “I do. Plus, if we’re at your home then it’s not as far to the bedroom.”

“I don’t put out on the first date.”

Sirius chuckled, “That’s okay. I do.”

Remus snorted, “Slut.”

Sirius pouted dramatically, “Only for you baby.”

Remus laughed, “Oh Merlin!” Remus kissed Sirius to stop the laughter and it proved to be an effective tactic. Sirius’ free hand moved down to grip Remus’ clothed thigh. Remus’ hand slid under Sirius’ shirt to stroke bare skin.

The door to the safe flew open and the two men froze mid-kiss. They pulled away from each other slowly to look at James, Fred and George who were frozen in the doorway. Nobody spoke but Fred pulled five galleons from his pocket and handed it to George.

Remus grabbed his wand, “ _Nox_.”

Remus had apparently broken the silence because James shouted, “How long has this been going on?”

Sirius looked at his Muggle watch as they both climbed out of the safe, “About fifteen minutes. I thought that it had been longer.”

Remus stretched, trying to get rid of the kinks from sitting in the enclosed space, “Fifteen minutes seems about right.”

James stepped into Remus’ space and prodded him in the chest, “This means I owe Lily fifty galleons.”

Remus smiled, “She had a lot of confidence.”

Fred and George were grinning at them and James grunted, “Oh, and we made a truce.”

Sirius shrugged, “Good it’ll give me and Remus more time…”

Remus cut off whatever Sirius was going to say by putting his hand over his mouth and pulling him towards the door, “We’ve got to go. Thanks for rescuing us. Bye.”

Once they were outside Remus took his hand off Sirius’ mouth and asked, “How many people have been betting on us?”

Sirius shrugged, “I don’t know. Why don’t we go home and celebrate our rescue?”

Remus grinned, “That sounds like a good idea. I can’t believe that you would choose me over pranks.”

Sirius pulled him close and kissed him without worrying who would see them, “It would depend on the prank.”

Remus chuckled and disapparated them both to his home. As far as they were concerned they’d already wasted enough time.


End file.
